When I was a kid, I never truly appreciated the significance of the new year tradition. But the more I revolve around the sun, the more grey hairs I find. I have to be more conscious about my movements so I don’t flare up my old knee injury. And, my energy has a limit. I’m no longer bursting with vigor, as my beautiful daughter seems to remind me every day. (I challenge any Olympian to match the endurance of a toddler)
So now as each year passes I think more about one thing; the fact that there is an end. Now, I’m not ready for that, so I hope I’ve still got a long way to go. But it’s a strange idea; how to be ready at the end. What I imagine that’s like, is to finally reflect about your time here and to know that you’ve done enough and been enough. And so, I think of each year as a checkpoint evaluation until it’s quitting time.
This is something that I have been doing in my life and I think it might be a good thing for you as well. Take some time at the end of each year and evaluate yourself. Are you doing enough or being enough? And if not, are you on track to? The definition of enough, is whatever you decide it is, but you must decide. For me, it changes every year, like a moving target, but at least I’ll always have something to aim toward.
This is where making goals comes into play. The difference between a goal and a resolution is that hopefully you have a plan to do it. And if it’s a challenging goal you’ll need a very good plan. “Failing to plan, is like planning to fail” (B Franklin)
So here’s some tips for planning this year:
· Treat personal growth like its your second job. Most people have a minimum of 1-2 hours each day of down time. That’s at least 10 hours of growth time per week! Imagine what you could accomplish with a 10 hour work week, or more.
· Identify and restrict time wasters. Screen time is a big one here. Set a limit on your phone and stick to it. If you make just one exception the whole thing falls apart. And if the temptation is too much for you, put your phone away in a different room. Limiting TV is also a big one. A rule that we have adopted is that we only watch TV on the weekends (no TV on the job!).
· Set reasonable goals. “Most people overestimate what they can do in a year, and underestimate what they can do in a lifetime.” (J Peterson) The ideal goal is something that is just challenging enough that you can do it. And when you do, modify the goal. In 2022, I made a goal to read 12 books, one per month. I was able to make it happen very quickly, then I double the goal to 24! It was a harder challenge but I made it happen, but only because I moved the goalpost.
· Budget your finances. Make an excel sheet or table with all your expenses month to month based on category. Most credit cards will do this automatically for you. Some categories are: gas, groceries, restaurants, utility bills, home repairs, car repairs, shopping, subscriptions, insurance, and so on. You will get a monthly amount, and you can average them over the year. This is good practice for being smart with your money and it might only take you about an hour once a month.
· Strengthen your relationships. Aim to be a better wife/husband/friend/sibling. If you start being better to the people you love, you’ll be better to those you don’t love yet. This doesn't have to be much, just a phone call or a text message will often be enough. Even if you set aside one day a month to talk to a close friend, that will light a spark in you. We are social creatures, after all. Everyone's relationship is different too, so for that I'd recommend starting with The 5 Love Languages, and you could build from there. A simple date every once in a while won't hurt either, and it doesn't have to be fancy or expensive to be special.
Link: The 5 Love Languages
· Use a calendar. Phone calendars are good if you use them, but a calendar where you’ll see it often is the best. So put one on your fridge, toilet, TV, wherever. But use it. You might find that you'll have to coordinate several calendars; a monthly calendar for events, weekly calendar for your meals and chores, and a daily planner to keep you on task. I keep a monthly personal on my phone, but coordinate it with my wife on a magnetic fridge calendar. We also started a chore list and weekly meal plan that we make every Sunday. There's a ton of daily planner apps, I use Sunsama and it's been a great habit to start my day.
Link: Magnet calendars
· Plan your meals weekly. If you know each week what food you’ll be making, it makes grocery trips a breeze. Plus no more impulsive buying and little to no food waste! We make it a priority to have a soup day, vegetarian day, and an organ meat day. The others might incorporate beef chicken, fish, or lamb. We are very selective with pork.
· Practice some self-love. Find something productive that makes you feel great and make it a priority to do that at least once a week. For some people this means getting in 30 mins of exercise every day. For others it might mean daily reading or meditation. Or maybe it's keeping a weekly journal or using affirmations. Whatever it is, you need to make sure you make yourself a priority. Those who love themselves first, can make an incredible impact by sharing it.
· Plan out your vacations. Yes more than one. If you can plan to work then you can plan to play too. Call it stress management. This could mean a couple of weekend trips local, or even a week or two in the bahamas. The important part here is planning ahead. This makes travel much easier and cheaper too. Plus, you'll always have something to look forward to when your work grind gets monotonous.
· Make it a team effort. Only a fool travels alone. Get your partner on board or a friend and lean on eachother when your struggling, or build eachother up when you’re on top. Accountability is key here. When you know someone is watching you're more likely to follow through. Some people use social media to use social pressure as motivation. That's great if it works for you. Personally, I enjoy knowing that I'm growing with people. And when we talk, we encourage each other not to give up even though we're just not feeling it. This method is also a great reminder for you to think of the big picture, because thats what you're really working for.
Probably the biggest and most helpful tip is this: Just start. You’ll pick up the pieces as you go. But it wont work if you don’t. So, even if you only improve 5% this year, that’s improvement. The biggest mistake you can make, and I'm speaking from many experiences, is to over prepare. The things I've listed here are not what I'm talking about. This is planning for success. It's when we think we need all the nice gear for working out, or all the gadgets to make us the most efficient at task, or even just waiting for the perfect moment. These things might help you with your goal, but they won't do it for you. The order you should work to achieve anything should be- commit the time, commit the work, then commit the money for tools to make it more efficient.
I hope this list helps you organize your life goals. There's definitely more to mention, but a start is a start. We are only getting older as this rock spins round. But, we are blessed with time, and time is the ultimate currency. I hope you are using it wisely in 2023. Have a blessed wonderful new year!
